Boys Don't Cry
by ladyunebarton
Summary: Sometimes, temptation is so strong that you can't fight against it. Some other times, circular paradoxes had to be fulfilled. The Eleventh Doctor is about to find out his role in the life of a younger Rose Tyler. And he has to break her hearth again, because he was Jimmy Stone all this time. And he can't escape that fate.
1. Chapter 1

The TARDIS was exploding, that in itself was not new. With broken bits all over the place and the manual lost in the time vortex. This sort of thing tended to happen to him and the old girl all the time. Sometimes it took one big hit over the controls, but this time it made more damage than solve the problem, wherever the problem was.

"Do try your best to land softly sexy, I know you aren't feeling well, but crashing is not the solution either.." said the Doctor while manically pressing buttons.

The ship exhaled painfully and that made the doctor feel terrible.

"I'm really sorry dear, you know I was not trying to hurt you, as soon as we land, im going to fix you up. Promise, cross my hearts." He said taking hold of the leaver.

His crazy old eight incarnation had fixed one little cable with gum, maybe it was time to replace the damn gum, maybe using tape this time.

He was thinking that when the TARDIS finally crashed. He hit his head over the controls and fall flat on the ground with a painful grunt. He was on his feet with a jump, his head hurt and was actually bleeding.

"Auch…" he said to no one in particular. His lovely sexy ship shut the main systems and the lights dimmed. "We are on earth, right?, the closes thing. But the year…Ah…that is the question.."

The computer was down too, so no answers there, so he better got down to business. He jumped the railing and went directly to the small tunnel. It had to be the gum!. It had to be!. He couldn't think of other explanation.

He crawled in the organic looking passages until he had quite the small space and looked really hard. Sure enough the gum was charred and along with it, all the system board that held together the time vortex container. That was not good.

So, it could move in space, but not time. And it looked like the space mobility board was next to be burn by the look of things. Not good, not good at all.

He took it out with the sonic screwdriver and pocketed it on his jacket. He crawled out and decided that it was better to begun looking for parts. With long strides he came out of the ship.

London, beautiful and populated London. 21th century by the look of things. That was actually good news, at least he was not stranded in the middle ages. He could replace parts from a number of house appliances.

He went back and said. "Don't you worry; it's going to take a few days, but I'm going to patch you up really good. Things aren't looking that bad now my dear. I'll be back in a few days. Don't go anywhere!."

+1+

He went to the convince store and got some custard, no fish fingers sadly, but the custard was good. He got the local newspaper and found out it was 2003. Oh dear, the temptation to see one pretty amazing lady was just too strong. The Powell state not far, but it hurt. He knew he had a face she would never remember. But this body was not a patient one. He would touch and that was never allowed anymore.

It hurt, some hundreds of years since that bay. It still hurt with the same intensity. But that was the wolf; she leaved a print all over him. No matter how much time passed. He would always….

He would…

He keep walking. Walks, you see, so very refreshing. Streets full of people living small and amazing lives. With kids running about, girls with boys, middle aged men with suits, all very normal.

Today he was one of them, and for the next couple of days. It's actually quite fun, he remembers. And he's glad he can have this kind of opportunities. Not forever thou, he wants to keep moving, because, like any other old man. If he stops moving, he began to remember names and dates, and faces that tend to say 'Doctor!'. Or worst, things he keeps buried on one big mausoleum inside his head, images of his childhood, images of his family and friends, and then war, dead and lost.

But if he keeps walking he meets new faces and new people that would be someday memories too. In the meantime, it's better than been alone.

He goes to an instrument store. He could use some violin strings and guitar plugs. He's thinking about metronomes and the small precise parts inside them. He's all over the place, taking this and that; everything could be useful to take him back to the music of the universe.

"Quite a lot of stuff you got there…" says a young lad.

And then he remembers this body is young too, in the outside. He tends to forget drown by the real age inside.

"Oh yes, yes!" he answers excited. "Music, music is cool"

"Sure is" he says. "what do you play mate?"

"Well…I can play any instrument. Been jamming a lot"

He thinks about the honky tonks of New Orleans. He thinks of that one time he meet Elvis, and when he went to play to Johns Lennon's house. That was fun, better than Beethoven's house.

"That's kind of awesome, me and my mates have a band, have been playing for a while, but we lost a guitarist, moved out with his mom. To a nicer place, fancy house his stepdad got"

"Well, that's lame" he says smiling.

"So, what are you, one of those brainy gits, you know like Mozart?"

"Oh no, no. Too much spare time to practice. Took really long for me to start playing good"

"Oh so, you're good?!"

He took the laps of his coat with a smug smile. "Well…, I am really awesome"

"Oh yeah?, care to show me?"

He's stuck here, why not have some fun in the meantime. He took one of the guitars and starts playing a Muse song, because it's London after all. And it's going to take a while before this song goes out.

He did have fun, he was out of mind with the music that the whole store stopped dead and looked at him play a song that was way to barmy. He got a crowd around him in minutes. And when he finished silence followed.

"Oh…" he said smiling. "I guess you guys aren't ready for this yet. But your kids are going to love it.."

"Dude, that was awesome?, Is it yours?" said the kid.

"Not really, its and oldie, oldie from where I came from"

"You really are good, man…, I'm going to see my mates to play, want to come?"

"Well…I don't know"

"Come on man!. You have to!"

"Oh ok, just for a few songs mind you, I have work to do"

"Great!" exclaimed the lad. "What's yer name anyway?"

"John Smith"

"Dude, that was so awesome, I don't know where you came from, and what music they play, but my mates are going to love you. My name is Robert Hartman by the way."

"Nice to meet you Robert"

He was a young man, with cropped hair and styled clothes from this time. He looked like a good chap. Black hair and sunburned arms.

+2+

"This is Harold, he plays the drums, and this is Gary, he plays the bass, and me as you know play the guitar. Our mate David left the band, but the guitar he used was actually mine. We live here, in this bedsit, you now, because we are waiting to hit it grand someday."

"Oh yes, it looks quite comfy in here…" he said letting himself hit the battered couch.

"And this is John Smith, wait until you hear this guy, he plays the barmiest I ever seen"

"Let's hear it then!" said Gary or Harold.

Music, the ultimate universal language. The one and only, the TARDIS did not need to translate for him.

He loved music so much, that he submerged in his role. Playing along with them, improvising and adding arrangements to their songs. And when he realized it was dark outside. Time to go back to the TARDIS.

"Oh man!, stay the night, Fred let the room he used, you can have it"

"Well…" he said.

"We have some beer"

"I don't like drinking in this body"

"See!, completely bonkers this one!" said Robert.

"We have pot!" added Harold.

"I don't do that either!" he said.

Well, not exactly truth. The 23th century was the one when the marihuana was legalized in all the human colonies. It was Jack, of course, the one that incited them to do it, Rose and him.

They had one amazing night of laughter. But over all, they always did. So the stuff didn't really improve something.

"Come on man!, don't be a party popper!"

It really must be his age finally haunting him, because he was feeling prudish when he knew deep down, how fond of the stuff his fourth self was. Also, every one of his self where different, some liked it, others didn't. He wondered if this body would like it. It was young after all.

"Umm, alright, but just a bit"

Because you know, its better to regret things than wondering for a life time, and that, was really a long life time. Besides, he was old enough, experienced enough to know his own limits.

The stuff was stronger, it burned his throat. It was smaller now, high pitched and delicate. He missed fourth´s voice, deep and rich.

The complicated breathing system was full of the stuff, his lungs working to contain it. After a long time he let the smoke out. The other boys were silent and quiet and not really noticing how long he could hold his breathing.

"I smoked this kind of little herb once. I was old, so old, my first me. Well, I was young too. More like a baby, you know. A fully grown baby I was. Well, Barbara, she was so excited, because I was an elder in this place we visited, would have been an insult not to do it. First time ever I felt like a stupid old man"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" asked Robert.

The other guys weren't really paying him attention, but now they were.

"This body tends to talk a lot" he said with a smile.

"Man, you sure are stoned." Said Harold.

"Am I?" he asked stupidly. "I feel fine, clear headed. More than ever I think"

"Jimmy, Jimmy" Robert said laughing.

"My name is not Jimmy, Its John!"

"Whatever man, we just meet you, I think you have a stoned face"

The others laughed too. He frowned.

"Yeah, that's your name now, Jimmy Stoned"

"Stone…, like the rolling stones?"

"Oh man" Robert smiled. "Yes you are"

"Jimmy Stone" he said. The words rolling out of his mouth. It was weird. Some kind of déjà vu. But that was normal too. Like crashing his ship. Because, things never happened in the right order. Timmey Whimey and all.

Deep down, where ten's memories and consciousness were buried, his annoyed voice exclaimed something about the lines of 'remember you idiot, you know that name'.

But Fourths voice was talking too, saying something else.

He was so high he didn't pay attention to any of them. Sometimes they talked all at once. He muted all when he felt crowded in his brain. Lately it always felt that way, so he keep them silent all the time. They were stronger when he was week, that's why they started talking in the first place while he was drug.

Maybe he shouldn't have done that. Any of that.

+3+

He woke up suddenly. "Okaaaay, I'm not doing that again".

The other kids were laying around over the carpet. They fall sleep at some point. He did too, with dreams of distant and forgotten places. Green skies, deep cold oceans and hot moist breezes.

Whatever make him do it in the first place, was gone this morning. He was feeling regret, but at least, that was something he knew very well. Just one tinny mistake lost over the long list of everlasting sorrow.

Maybe not really knowing these kids deprived the whole experience. Maybe, just maybe, he was feeling lonely again.

That was the true sickness, and there wasn't any medicine for that.

He pretended to leave quietly, but he stumbled over his own feet, and hit Robert in the knee.

"Uh…I'm going now, it was fun last night, it really was, but I should go back to my work"

"Oh dude, you can't. We have a gig tonight. And we were hoping you could fill in with us. Just this once, it's kind of important for us. It's at our mate's house. There could be someone from a record company, that's he said"

"That's lovely, but I can't be part of the band, I'm a traveler, I can't stay"

"Anything you want mate, you ask. Just for one night"

"I don't want anything, I have to leave"

"Please!"

He wanted to say. I don't want to be attached to you, I don't want to know you, because I will at some point, invite you along on my trip. He always did with those little apes.

"Oh okay" because, one more night couldn't hurt. "But I'll be back later, I really need to….fix my car. I'll see you here"

"Perfect!" he said with a big and trusting smile. "See ya around eight, but drop the gramps look"

"I like my clothes!, I like my bowtie, and if I can't wear it, forget about tonight"

"Oh all right mate, whatever you want"

"Right to!" he said going to the door. "See you later"

+4+

"You wouldn't believe what I did last night. Or maybe you know. Well, I smoked pot…..again. It's getting old, to tell you the truth. I am definitely getting old myself. But back to busyness sexy lady. I brought a blender and a computer. Not your usual standards, but oh well, not the first time we have to make it with this. An improvement, if you ask me, those are top of the market this time"

The TARDIS flicked his lights and he felt a warm feeling at the back of his head. He smiled.

He was not alone really. This was his woman, and he was his man. Something that never really changed. She was not going to leave him, or broke his hearths. He tried very hard not to think about….the red headed one and his husband.

He crawled to his work on the belly of the ship. "Play some music baby, I'm feeling musical."

As always, she put her favorite song. Billy Joel's Piano Man. He was singing along the music.

Silence, you see, more than a fearful enemy. Could drive a man insane, but music ah, it was way better than talking monologues all day. At least his girl had a full collection of digital music.

"I am singing tonight…." He chuckle. "Meet some boys yesterday. It's a great hobby, don't you think?"

The ship exclaimed what could be like rolling his eyes.

"Oi!" he said. "I don't sing that bad!"

He took all day to work on the ship and by seven he finished reconstructing the charred remains. It looked better, enough to get back to the 51 century and get some decent technology.

"I promise you not to drink or smoke weed. Its bad for anyone, specially me. I tend to babble a lot."

He walked to his quarters and took a good shower, he went naked to the closet, because really, that was the beauty of traveling alone. He decided to wear the Johnny Cash look. Maybe he was mourning still about….that couple.

His black dressing shirt adorned with white suspenders that contrasted. He opened his bowtie drawer and chose a silk shiny black one. It didn't get lost over the black. He combed his hair and decided in front of his mirror to have fun tonight. That's after all, what all his past companions and lovers always wanted. They wanted him to be happy and get on living. And he had to try, because if it didn't then he would lose.

Lose to the depression. The idea was playing in his head for a while now. About leaving everything and care for no one. He thought of stopping his mad run, and just stay in one place and never getting hurt again.

It was so damn tempting.

But tonight he was trying again. Giving him the opportunity of meeting people and care about them. The opportunity to have good mates that would not be lost on other dimension, taken away, or killed. He was craving for human touch.

He took a leather jacket. Not nine's jacket, because that was something he treasured, it was in that one that he meet Rose Tyler, the leather was hugged by her. Sometimes he thought it still smelled like her. And that was just too pathetic, but he couldn't stop himself.

Anyway, back to reality Doctor. He said to himself and losing a little the sour expression in his face.

+5+

"So, what are we playing anyway?" he asked the guys. He was cramped in the back seat of the old van with his guitar ready. Harold's arms were big and getting annoying against his ribs.

"We were thinking about The Smiths, you do know their songs, right?" asked Gary while driving.

"Yes as matter of fact I do." He said smug.

"Well, fucking hell. You really are something mate, we could throw you anything and you would still play fucking fantastic"

"Yep, that's me, the great, the only, and the oncoming storm. The god!"

"Stop flattering yourself" replied Robert with a smile. "What, did you smoked again?, going about again about the past, and the future, and the time streams, and physics"

"You went like about half an hour mumbling Physics, physics, physics" said Harold with a laugh.

"Physics, physics, physics" said Robert with a poor imitation of his voice. It sounded girly.

He scowled. "I don't sound like that". And his voice broke with indignation, that only make them laugh harder.

"Mate, ye were so stoned I bet you didn't know the celling from the floor."

"Keep rolling over the carped too" said Gary looking at him in the review mirror.

"Okay, so I was a little stoned last night. In my defense….." he opened his mouth but nothing came out. "Well, I don't have one"

They sniggered their way to the party. They went on and on with amusing stories of him being an idiot.

He found it funny too, in the end. Because really, he behaved like an idiot, more than usual.

"And then you said you were afraid of the silence."

"That's a real fear" he said. "I am afraid of it."

He never said why. They stopped suddenly and when he looked outside, his hearts stopped too.

"No…no….no" he said. "It can't be.."

"What's the matter mister Jimmy Stone…"

"This place... I cant be here…"

"Now Jimmy, I understand this is a rotten neighborhood, but it's not that bad."

"That's not it!" he said scared. "This were…she….I…..I"

"Get some balls mate. It's just the Powell state."

"Yes…that's exactly the problem".

Here he was. Sitting in the back of a van, with a couple of lads, parked outside the Powell state. The lights of Jacky's Tyler apartment was on. Inside, there was a girl he knew. No….that wasn't fair. He said he would never forget her. Inside, was Rose Tyler. The love of his long and tragic life.

He wanted to cry. Feelings were stirring with intensity. He wanted to run those stairs, the old familiar pat, ring their bell and…..and….

He shakes his head.

Typically him, so close, and yet, so very far.

He couldn't, that was his curse. One of the many he had. Last time lord and all.

"It's nothing…" he said.

Because it wasn't. Nothing to do about it. Case closed. He smiled with fondness to her window. Soon he thinks, not many years from now. She would meet him. And he would never change a single thing of it. He loved her. But Nine had to find her.

He went out of the van, took the guitar and followed his mates. Tonight he was playing a concert to this place. To the Powell State, to the girl that grown here. For my Rose, he thinks. Because she would always be his.

Melancholic smile and all, he went with his new mates to another part of the state, a few apartments down from Jacky's. Lights were turned off and music roared from the speakers. Drunken youths walked out, stumbled about in laugh. Pretty girls with the stiff smell of whiskey and beer.

Some parts of the apartment were so dark that people just seemed like an endless mass of shadows dancing. The people near the window were smoking and screaming to by standers in the street below.

There wasn't any furniture, the floor was muddy and sticky with spilled drinks. They party probably had been going on for a while, but more people keep coming in and was so cramped that they ended on one corner, quite one over the other. The drums were just behind him and he nearly feel over them. He helped the guys installing the equipment. Cheers from the crow were constantly heard over the music.

"I'm ready" said Harold adjusting for the last time his bench.

"Let's hit it boys!" he said. "Boys don't cry!"

They looked at him weird.

"You know it, right?"

"Yeah, whatever man, its ok" said Robert.

"Lets jam…" he smiled.

The cd music was stopped, for a few moments the voices raised, he smiled to the crowd. This night was all about Rose Tyler, he should know.

The guys started the song imminently and the crowd cheered the song. Robert looked at him and pointed the micro with his chin. He nodded and stepped to the front.

He began the song peaceful enough, but as the lyrics keep going, the tears began to fall from his eyes with him powerless to stop them.

"_I try to laugh about it, Cover it all up with lies, I try and laugh about it, Hiding the tears in my eyes, Because boys don't cry!"_ He used quickly his fist to clean the tears_. "I would tell you, That I loved you, If I thought that you would stay. But I know that it's no use, That you've already gone away"_

Oh Rose Tyler, I should have said it while I still have time.

"_Now I would do most anything, To get you back by my side, But I just keep on laughing, Hiding the tears in my eyes 'Cause boys don't cry"_

The song ended and there was a warm round of applause.

"Mate, are you all right?" Asked Robert with a worried expression.

"I'm all right" he tried to smile, but had to clean the tears again.

"Are you sure?, You look quite not all right et all"

"Yeah, I'm ok, what's next?"

"Wanted to play some smiths, but, boy, you are emotional tonight, not sure if it's a good idea anymore"

"I think it's perfect"

"Well then, how about 'the boy with the torn in his side'"

The doctor smiled.

Robert nodded. "It will be ok mate, let it out if you want"

"I will"

He singed 'The boy with the torn in his side' and tried no to cry about this one. He barely made it. After a couple songs more, some which were sang by Robert. They began with There's a light that never goes out. They planned to play some of their own song, well the bands songs. So this was the last cover of the night.

They decided that his voice sound more like Morrissey. So he began.

He was quite distracted about the same time that the lyrics said "I thought oh god, my chance has come at last, but then a strange fear gripped me and I just couldn't ask."

Then he choked on his own voice.

The light that streamed from the corridor outside of the flat, had just scare him with the form of no other than Rose Tyler. A younger Rose Tyler.

Full of make out, a skirt that showed way too much skin and a blouse so thin that he could almost see her naked.

It was so unholy that his voice broke and lost the song, and he stopped playing altogether and his guitar made some screaming noise in the speakers, and was so terrible that everyone in the room looked at him and silence fell.

And oh god. Rose Tyler was looking at him, really looking. And this was a mistake it had to be. It had to be some dream. It had to!

The boys stopped playing too and by a few seconds no one knew what to do and then people was screaming and Robert began playing again and ended the song alone.

When the music ended, he was standing still looking at her, she wasn't paying him attention anymore, she was talking with friends.

He had to get the fuck out of here.

He did not.


	2. Chapter 2

I forgot to say that I don't own these characters. I just think that the Doctor and Rose are OTP forever and ever. And the writers of the show are bloody jerks.

+1+

All came crashing like a gigantic wave.

Everything crumbles inside his head, his knowledge, memories and feelings. Thoughts racing in every direction. He's thinking in the great cosmic joke, the probabilities are just impossible and yet here he is. Paradoxes and broken physics laws. But mostly he loses common sense.

Ten's voice, and ten's feelings. His own feelings he supposes, crawling and fighting to take over.

'You've done enough damage at it is, let me take it from you'

He shakes his head, he wants to say, 'this is my body now, my chance to live'.

He's not him, not really. He was, but not anymore. He regenerated. Tenths voice was just an echo from a dead entity. Just an echo of who he was.

He was born the same instant in which every cell changed. It was confusing as hell, one instant you are someone, then you die, and after that, you are born again. You are born brand new, everything feels different and you are quite confused.

You tried desperately to cling to everything you know, but many things are lost in the process. Like how it feels to touch, to smell, to taste.

More often than not, the cells go over ride with new information and he collapses.

Then, when the body sets, everything in the brain tries to make sense. His new cells are forming new opinions and impression, morphing into a new personality. And his memories fight against being forgotten, trying desperately to make him the same man in a new body.

Its really a curse, living like this. Its not a gentle processes, its traumatic and horrific. He his born out of the pain and sorrow of another man, and he have been doing it over and over. Some of his people did it on a whim, mostly because they had gentle and comforting lives thus this allowed them to remain mostly themselves. But he's been losing loved ones and dying in tragic ways.

And then, this thing with Rose Tyler, it's been cursing him for three lives in a row.

When his nine self, fall in love with her and regenerated to save her, he was thinking about her. Everything about her was saved with extreme detail and was passed over to his Ten self.

In that life time, he was confused about it, because they weren't exactly his feelings. He thought he was being affected by the remains of Nine's feelings. Ten tried to convince himself that he was not in fact in love with her, but merely affected by the strong memories of his past life.

He even grew feelings of his own to Madame du Pompadour and he acted like a bloody jerk.

But in the end, Ten loved her too with the same passion and was thinking about her too, when he regenerated. And yes, passing more and more information about her to his next live.

And here he was. Eleven body, feeling again for Rose Tyler with the intensity of two past lives over him. He mostly feels guilt about other past companions or he remembers them with kindness.

But the love for her it's just too strong. This has never happened before, well maybe with Sarah Jane. But not all of his other self's loved her like that, one of them at least loved her like a father and that make it a huge difference.

It's so strange to love a woman based on information other left for him. Strictly speaking, he doesn't even know her. This body has never hug her or kissed her like Nine or Ten. This body has never touched her or talked to her. And if he's honest, he was jealous of them. Leaving him with dreams of the girl he loves and has never touched. Endless memories of her soft and warm body.

Suddenly, it doesn't matter that him, this him, it's actually married and sort of in love with his wife. He has the chance to make Rose Tyler fall in love with him for the third time.

He already did it. And if he remembers correctly, he is going to make a mess of it. He's going to broke her, left her with a gaping empty hole. He going to ruin her and make her leave school. He ruined her live, and at the same time not, because he's given her time and space, her father and even a piece of him as gift for everything he's doing now. He wonders if this part was supposed to happen since the beginning.

What if he refuses to do it?. Let her finish school, get her A levels, become a fantastic gymnastic, go to college and marry Mickey. Time can be rewritten after all. Will she ever meet Nine?. Will she jump in the TARDIS anyway?.

He knows the answers right away. She will not. If he doesn't do this, she will never get her father back, and he knows she will be forever haunted for his lost, she wouldn't get him back together with her mum, and the baby brother that makes them a family. Her chance to be brilliant, to grow and see she's not just a shop assistant. The unique chance to become the defender of earth.

He smiles. Because even when ruining her life, he's doing it for her sake to be so much more. He's always been the reason, the man that makes her a magnificent woman. He's the one marking every important chapter in her life. She said forever after all. She was right all along. Rose Tyler and her big scary bad wolf making circular paradoxes in the time vortex all over history.

Creating herself.

+2+

"Mate?" Asks Robert.

"Yes?"

"Are we playing or what?"

"What?" he asks confused.

Suddenly the string of time pulls him, it hasn't passed a minute. Time as it turns out, can be relative inside his head.

"Oh…yes…" he says distracted. "Whenever you want"

"Let's end this gig, mate; then we are getting a pint for ye"

"Sounds like a good idea at the moment"

"Try to focus then"

"Yes" he says distracted because he's looking again to Rose Tyler.

The way her blond hair fall like a curtain, the way her eyes look young and alive. Innocence and desperation hidden inside, she wants to eat the world, and she will someday. But right now, she wants to be a grown up. She certainly is dressed like one even if her face is still like a baby.

He wants her attention and he tries the only way he can. He plays, and he does it like a rock star just to make her look his way.

When she does— and she's not the only one— her eyes travel up and down his body, and he wonders if she likes what she sees. Amy…dear Amy Pond, with her youthful eyes, told him he was handsome, even more so than any other of his self's. Bloody Ponds roaming about his photo albums.

But this is Rose Tyler, who at nineteen fell in love with a man that looked twice her age. Maybe young was not really her thing. But on the other hand, he still looks older here. She's just a baby and Jimmy Stone looks about twenty.

Yes…she goes for older. He knows right away when she sends a coquettish smile his way. He answers in kind, his eyes only on her, there's not mistake. Even if the distance between them is great, even if the dark makes everything blurry.

He knows he's showing off, like a gigantic peacock form space. Swaying his hips to the music and dancing just for her. He know he kind of looks silly all the time while dancing with this body, he feels awkward most of the time, but he tries very hard to seduce her with his movements like nine did. He knows how to dance, and he's been waiting to dance with her again.

He so engrossed with his flirting, and so is she, that when the music stops for a final time, they look both impish around knowing that they were caught in each other's movements.

"Hope ye all like it, this was Butt Bucket!" Said Robert.

He took off the guitar and leaves it against the wall in an instant; in the next he's trying desperate to cross the mass of bodies between them.

"Hi…" he says when he's standing in front of her.

"Hi…" she says with a small smile.

"Hi!" says another girl next to them. "My name is Shareen, and you are?"

"Oh…nice to meet you Shareen…" He says with polite coldness. He wants her out of the picture, he wants every second with Rose. "I'm Jimmy Stone, and you are?" he ask gently.

"Rose"

"That's a beautiful name, prettiest flower of them all, could smell you all day…"

She laughs and hard. "Mate, that's the worst pick up line ever, well, you couldn't be pretty and smart at the same time"

He looks at her affronted. And he wants to smack himself, because really, that was stupid. But she makes him this way. He's nervous; his hearths are beating so strong he can feel his whole body trembling.

"Yeah" he admits, "Well, let me try again…., Hello Rose, did you like the show?"

"Yes, it was great, I knew Robert played pretty cool, but mate, you are really great"

"We haven't seen you around, did you move here?" asks Shareen.

"As a matter of fact, I did, new in town. Maybe you'll like to show me around Rose?"

"Oh, there's nothing to see here, this is just the Powell state, I bet ye hear this is a rotten place"

"I never paid attention, me….I travel a lot in…my car…, see places worse than this"

"¿Really?, I would like to travel…" Rose says with wistful eyes. "But can get poorer than me"

He wants to tell her of all the travel she's going to do, like a Cinderella, when he meets him. But he cant. Instead he says. "Well, I'm very poor myself. I have just the clothes I have on and the ones at the back of my car"

"You don't have like a job or something?"

"What are you, a slacker?" says Shareen with a look of disgust.

"Well…I prefer the term, temp. I do a lot of temporal jobs, you know, this and that, I suppose you could say I'm a musician waiting to get discovered"

"Jimmy right?. Let me tell you, you really have talent, I'm sure you will make it"

"You think so?" he says with a big smile.

"Oh, I'm sure of it" she says with a bigger smile.

This is it, right?. He asks himself. This is what looking at the woman you love feels like. They must really look like a pair of lovesick fools standing there. He knows, he just does, that she really, really likes him.

He wonders when he is going to steal her first kiss. Is it tonight?. Did Jimmy wait for it like a gentleman?, or did he steal it by surprise?.

"Do you want a drink?" he asks, because too much silence is dangerous.

"I would like one yes" says Shareen.

"I'll go with you, you know, to the kitchen."

"God forbid he loses himself in there" says Shareen sarcastically.

Rose looks affronted.

"Well, I could, I'm quite clumsy" he tries. But both girls are silently fighting with killing stares.

When they finally part company with the other girl, Rose says. "Try to ignore her, she said earlier that she was going to try to get you"

"Me?" he asks confused.

"She wanted to get laid" she says with a blush. But he looks still confused, not because the meaning is lost, but because really, Shareen?. Rose still adds "Shag you"

"Ow…" he says. "And you?, Do you?"

She gets even redder. "Well…, I'm not….really experienced, I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that, but, you know, if you want, you could still have Shareen tonight, or any other girl…"

He takes her hand. "I don't want any other girl, now that I found you Rose…" and he means that so seriously that makes them both shiver with the power of the statement.

This is a kind of drunkenness all of his own, he feels like walking on a cloud, and he's done that before. But this is so much more than that. Like a dream, a powerful one, full of sounds and smells and her.

"I prefer your company" he says. "I won't make you do anything ye aren't feeling comfortable with"

"You might get bored, I'm just a kid, you know?, to you I must look like really immature" And there she is, the soft and insecure Rose Tyler.

"Rose, no one is more mature than you, besides, I'm pretty childish myself, and you could get bored"

"How old are you?" she asks biting her lip.

"How old do I look?"

"Like twenty five" she says frowning.

"That's exactly my age, you can tell pretty accurately, how old are you Rose?"

"I'm seventeen"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Well…"she says. "There's this boy, we've dated like twice, I know him since like forever, more like a brother you know?."

"Yeah, I know" he smiles. "I knew a girl once, she wanted something more with me, but I couldn't"

"Yes, it's kind of awkward when someone wants more and you really aren't into them"

Poor old Micky, he thinks. He ought to win a price for endurance. He never really give up Rose, he tried to the very end. But neither of them knew she was always his. And poor Martha, one of his biggest mistakes with women, well Amy got it wrong too, for a while.

They both got pints of cold beer, he know she doesn't drink yet, she's trying to look interesting, she's trying to make an impression. But the funny thing is, he is doing it too. But he can't stop himself; he wants to be the Jimmy from the tales.

A bit of a rebel, a bad boy looking for trouble, he wants to be rude and stupid. He always thought about Jimmy that way, a brainless tug who did nothing, a kind of manly problematic bloke that never deserved a girl like Rose. But the truth was, Rose almost never talked about him at all.

Jimmy could have been a chess player worm book type for all he knew. There really wasn't a description he could follow. But he can't be himself either, or Rose would know some day he was Jimmy. Maybe the Metacrisis Doctor would figurate it out and that's awkward, his _¿brother?_ discovering he was here before doing the nasty with Rose at seventeen.

Bullocks….

He's just going with the flow; the paradox would probably repair itself.

She's so beautiful with this incredible innocence. He nervously drinks from his beer, and trying and failing not to check her out.

Oh dear…this is getting awkward, he thinks, he's looking way too much and he just said he didn't wanted to get laid with her. He has time, there's really no need to rush, she's going to give herself to him.

That makes him blush.

He's getting Rose Tyler virginity.

And he's really looking forward to that.

+next the author babbles+

Hello, well….yeah….

Um…

I…

Thanks for reading, please review?.


	3. Chapter 3

The immediately conclusion was – _'I'm a bloody idiot'_.

He wasn't here to shag Rose Tyler, well yes he was, but not only that. He was here to make her fall in love. He knows this opportunity is not forever, this story ends badly. It's a brief chapter in her past and his future. But one thing is for certain, and that is that Rose really loved Jimmy.

Whatever happened or is about to happen, Rose never said anything ill about Jimmy. It was actually Mickey or Jackie the ones who recalled the story and badmouthed the memory. Almost as if Rose didn't actually regretted it. She just didn't talk about it with anyone. Not even him, especially not him.

He doesn't deserve this, neither does she.

This messed up love story full of horrible endings and goodbyes. Is not fair for Rose, she had to live this part without knowing its him. He could use the Fope Watch he supposes, to make himself human for her. But who is going to save him of living as a human forever. And most importantly, save him of eating pears.

To become Jimmy, and really become Jimmy without losing his memories, he needs to distance himself of anything Time Lord. Being human as much as he can, and that means no sonic screwdriver and no TARDIS.

This means he has to live this in the right time and order, hours, days, months and even years as any other human being. No lottery winning, credit cards or easy cash. To make this the most authentic experience as she deserves. The hard way, the human way.

The domestic way.

He smiles, because, Rose Tyler make him do it in the end.

+2+

It amazes him, how innocent she is. She's even more pink and yellow than ever. So young, so sweet like a fresh fruit. Not the last version of her he meets and let go for the last time on Bad Wolf bay. That Rose was a mature one, battle scarred Rose. Defender of earth Rose. A full woman she was at that point. Well…Ten would know.

This Rose giggles like a normal teen at his jokes. She blushes a lot. Not yet the teasing cheeky Rose.

A new kind of Rose, if you will.

It seems there are many types of Rose as much as there are of him.

"Tell me, do you like apples?" he asks.

"Apples are rubbish, I prefer bananas"

"oh dear, I might be falling in love" he says teasingly putting a mocking hand over his right heart, but actually being already totally at her feet. "what do you think about my bowtie?"

"It looks good on you, looks cool"

"I knew you would understand" His hearts beating fast.

"What?, nobody agrees?"

"It doesn't matter now what the universe thinks about my bowtie, as long as you like it"

She smiles. "Oh, I do, and I like your suspenders too."

"Well, I like your hair like this"

"Ta, Jimmy"

"We should go" he says on an impulse. Well, he has never been really patient.

"Go where?"

"Around, this party is boring, we aren't really into drinking, we been holding this for while"

She smiles. "I don't think it's a good idea, I hardly know you"

"Ain't gonna take you to the back of my car, It's not even here, I promise, I just want to hear your voice better without all this noise"

"All right" she says smiling.

He takes her hand, her soft fingers curling around his. No matter what body he has, her hand will always fit. Small and warm, and so very impossibly soft. They slip trough the party and nobody notices because, its just so crowded now, and everybody is way too distracted to notice.

They walk in the dark corridor leaving the noise behind, some drunktards hang in the stairs. Empty bottles and cans scattered over the floor.

Then just over the exit of the building a couple is making love passionately against the wall. They both look awkwardly between them trying to ignore the slippery sounds.

The fresh night air hits them. She needs something warmer than her thin clothes he thinks. He takes off his jacket and offers it with a gentle smile. She blushes when the garment covers her naked arms.

He leads her to the park outside the state. She doesn't notice he knows the path. How many times did they walked this road together after parking the TARDIS out of the way of the state.

They end sitting over the swings, his boots making lines over the sand. It's a quiet London night, it is late, and the only sound is the distant music of the party they just left.

"Tell me Jimmy, what is like to live in the road?"

"Sometimes its fun, other times not so much. Trouble keeps coming one way or another. And other times just plain lonely."

"Umm" she smiles and closes her eyes while swinging. "have you been in the continent?"

"Yes, all over the world"

"Always on your own?"

"I meet people, just like you. Some take off with me, pack their things and came along, but no one really stays for long. You see, it's tiresome, having be on the move, always on the move, some miss home so much they just leave"

"I think staying in just one place is boring. Like for example, this place, this must be the most boring place in the universe"

He smiles. "I don't think so. I just meet you, and this places is looking better and better"

A dog barks a few streets down. He stares at his feet, he may be saying a lot, he has to be more than the old tiresome song of the last of the Time Lords, more than just the Doctor, maybe someone with youthful aspirations and impossible dreams "I'm trying to be a musician, you know?. I want to be a rock star, take my music and scatter it over the world. It's almost what I do now, only I don't get paid"

"That's a big dream" She smiles. "But you could be something big"

"I'm waiting for the opportunity Rose"

"I understand, I mean, I'm just a poor girl from the Powell state. I bet my mom wouldn't be surprised If I got preggers. Got married and work in a meaningless job. It's what most of us do here. But…I get this feeling that I could do so, so much more if I had the opportunity of leaving this behind."

She looks up to the stars, her eyes bright with longing for freedom. He smiles; she truly was/ is an adventurer. He knew right from the start.

"I think you're right, I think there is a path for you, for all of us really, and we are somehow, unique and indispensable from the universe scheme. Big, small, rich and poor, everyone is important—needed."

_The universe knows I need you…_

"Like destiny?"

"Something like that, yeah" he smiles.

"How long are you staying here?"

"Oh, I don't know, I think my plans have just changed, I might stay with the band. And I just meet you, I want to get to know you"

"Really?"

"Yes, if you let me"

"I think is great!, maybe I could help you, you know?, ¡to make yer dream come true!"

"Will you?"

"Of course, I really believe you have talent. Maybe if you stay in London you could get discovered or something"

He smiles. He really likes youthful Rose. Helping strays and trying to save people, believing in dreams and helping others to make them come true. Her kindness even purer without the devils of the universe.

"Come on, let me escort you home"

"Why?"

"Well, I don't think yer parents approve that their daughter is wandering around at three am with a man"

"Its just my mum…, she's always scolding me, I can take care of myself, bloody Nazi mother she is."

"Maybe she worries a lot about you, because she really cares"

"I know she does, but she exaggerates things, always blowing things outta proportion"

He has a good laugh at that. It was not just finding Rose in his life again. It seemed he could never get rid of the mother in law. In a way, he was looking forward to that. Jackie has grown on him.

They walked back home hand in hand. "This is where you live?" he whispers. Even if he knows the way like the palm of his hand, this is all brand new for him. A wave of resentment is sent his way inside his head. Nine's consciousness like being awake by the memories of the halls and the stairs. He's never had two of himself alert, but he knows it's silly. Like phantom pain of limps cut off years and years ago.

He feels a desperate need to be closer to her, afraid, very afraid of just losing her again in the mist of battle and sacrifice. He's shaking by the time they got to the correct floor. He feels a growing anxiety to see her go.

"¿When can I see you again?" he asks trying to hide his feelings. Fumbling nervously with his hands inside his pockets.

"Well, you could, I don't know….pick me up after school?"

"YES!" he says with excitement. "I mean, that would be cool."

"You can ask Robert tomorrow to take you there, my friend Margarett likes him a lot"

"Oh yes, I will take him with me, definitely"

"Well, see you tomorrow I guess…"

He stands there awkward, then he remembers to lightly kiss her on the cheek. She blushes furiously then opens the door with a coy smile. The distinct voice of Jackie booms and shakes the entire state.

"Where the hell have you been?!" she screams.

Rose rolls her eyes and shuts the door. With his hands still inside his pockets he tiptoes in the corridor and back outside. Its quite late and the party still going, probably would be for long. But he wont be going back there. Instead goes to the Van and climbs to the roof.

It's a cold night, but nothing new for him to camp outside, especially when he can see the universe perfectly still. Peaceful, you can say, like a lullaby. He puts his hands behind his head like a pillow and smiles.

+3+

"Mate, you look terrible, still feeling a bit under the weather don't you?" the Doctor ask playfully while jumping on Robert's bed.

"Go..the fuck…away"

"Oh, someone awoke cranky, I see. Well, time to get up lazy daisy"

"Seriously mate, le´me have a leg in…"

"I decided to stay with the band…."

"Wut?" asks Robert jumping out of bed and over his covers. "No joking, are you?"

"Not at all, I like this place, I even sold my car this morning to have a bit of cash. Brought myself a bike instead, babes like that sort of thing" he says confident.

"I have no idea what the fuck are you talking about, but really, those are great news"

"Also, I've decided to move in here, bit cramped with everyone else, but as I understand you make it before"

"Yeah, yeah, totally not a problem"

"Now that is a proper response, you know, you would do great with a shower, maybe putting some nice…..err.." he picks a shirt from the floor. "Well, at least something clean"

"Oh shut up, someone throw a beer all over me last nite"

"Move It along then, we have a great day; Someone told me you know some pretty ladies from a local school. Margarett something and a very, very, very beautiful Rose Tyler"

"Oh…have you meet them?, wild girl that one, kicked at bloke in the nuts after he tried to make a number with that boy she hangs around with, Rickey or something"

"I bet he deserved it" he smiled. "She's a tough girl, isn't she?"

Robert smiles. "This is 'bout a girl then"

"It always is" he says with poetic voice. "And there it is, my sudden change of hearth, leaving my endless wandering just for this stolen moment in time"

"Whatever mate. Give me a moment, I will be ready and if you want that girl, I'll take you to see her whenever ye want"

"Want her?" he asks dramatic. "I need her!, I love her!, my blood sings her name, my hearts beats only for her, destiny brought me here just for her."

"Get the fuck out" Robert screams finally throwing a pillow. He laughs and leaves him to dress.

+4+

Earlier that morning, the band did a hasty retreat from the party when the sun was arousing in the horizon. They ended again in the bedsit cramped one over the other, the guys mostly drunk while he perched over the window unable to sleep.

After a while, when the boys showed no signs of life, he went to move the TARDIS and hide it on an alley. He took a battered red backpack and took clothes other boys leaved over the years. Mostly the things Adam and Mickey leaved in their rooms and ended in the closet. He went to the TARDIS garage and took an old bike, not the Vespa mind you.

Finally galloping manly to the street to his new life. He cheated a little by taking some money from a cash point. Just to make a living for a while. He still needed to arrange some sort of temp job or something to live in here like an honest man. That makes him snort.

There's always a first to everything.

He could try at least.

Finally he ended back in the bedsit waiting restlessly for the lads to get up and getting tired. At noon he decided to awake them. They had a humble breakfast of beer and cold chips and then the other two went to their jobs whatever they did.

Robert on the other side seemed quite free to take him to the school.

"What do you do for a living?" he asked while they exited the building in the direction of the bike.

"I work at a record store"

"That's a great job"

"Love music more than anything" he replied. "This yer bike, mate?"

"Ready to pull some babes"

"Seriously Jimmy, where you living in a cave or something?, this is junk"

"Hey, hey, this is a great bike, correct century at least"

"And what's with the clothes?, Did yer mother dress you?" Robert pulled his shirt out from his jeans and began unbuttoning it. "You look like a bloody idiot"

"Oi!" he exclaimed alarmed, but Robert finished and leave him with his shirt open showing his white t-shirt. "I feel naked somehow, never been without the proper dress code for a gentleman"

"Believe me mate, Tyler probably doesn't want a gentleman that looks like a dork"

"Yeah?, what do you know?, you'd probably make me wear sweat pants and make me all Chav" he complained while climbing his ride.

"At least not a dork" Robert smirked.

"Whatever"

He followed Roberts's instructions and in no time they were waiting like some drug dealers outside the school. People keep giving them dirty stares for sure. Worth for nothing youthful delinquents waiting for the little school girls to pervert. Well, he said that once when Susan went to school in the 60's. Those modern boys sure could make the older generation look like innocent kids, now that he had some perspective.

The bell rang and thousands of students swarmed out in every direction. Rose grin was spectacular once he saw her and wave her to come. His breath came out ragged once he got the full picture. She was dressed in that horrible grey, but her skirt was plated and so short he could see her tights all the way up. Rosier cheeks than ever and lips fully red of makeup, she was wearing big golden earrings and nails painted bright blue. Her hair was up and disarrayed after her school day.

Her blouse was white and opened at the collar; it was sinful the way he could almost see her bra with the right light in. She was carrying her jumper and school bag over one arm. He whimpered at her sight.

Its not like he was a perverted old man. Its just that all that prohibited sensuality in the woman he loved was just to temping to be true. Reason however reminds him of the fact that he was in fact very old to be having erections like some boy in the middle of the day. Show some respect- he told his lower parts.

"Alright!" she said. He smiled awestruck. She was really perfect in every way.

"Hi…" he said.

"Hi Robert!, Margarett is looking for ye over there"

"Better if I hurry then, she tends to be impatient with me"

"Oh ye know she likes you"

"Yeah?" he asked with a brown lifted. "May have a chance then"

"Totally" assured Rose with confidence.

"See ya later Jimmy"

"Yeah"

The still distracted Time Lord shifted on his feet quite unsure of what to do know. Its not like he knew what kind of interaction normal humans had. He certainly didn't know about adolescents and their stuff in the 60´s, so much more less now without Susan who tried to explain it over and over.

Well, he could try with the basic stuff.

"Let me carry that for you" he said taking the bag from her shoulder and her jumper.

"This yer bike?" she asked looking at it. He feel wary but nodded anyway.

"Sold my car this morning, Its cheaper to have a bike"

"Its cool, I never been on one before"

"Yeah?, fancy a bit of a trip?" he smiled smug.

"If my mum knows she's gonna kill me, she says it's easier to kill yerself on it than buying a gun"

"I'd normally agree with her, but I know quite a bit about bikes I let you know. I like them and I know very well how to drive one, besides, I brought you this." He said taking a pink helmet that remind him the one she had on the TARDIS, but this was a brand new one he got in a slightly curved shape. Flashier and cooler.

"Ta, Jimmy!" she squealed and took It from his hands in a flash, then she was just jumping over the bike with her legs spread wide open. He sat himself trying and failing not to see her knickers.

He felt her hands surround his waist in a tight hug. Her warm breath ghosted over his right ear mumbling sweetly his name. Oh god, he was going to crash the damn bike if this sudden sexual tension got any higher.

It was never like this before. Well….it was a bit with Ten. But it was so much more than just sexual attraction. It was about holding hands and hugging a lot. Obviously sex was the last thing on his mind when he meet her for the first time, the Time War broke him in the deepest level. Then she cured him with her compassion and she gave him the forgiveness he needed to hear from someone else about the horrors he had to do. Sacrificing his life for her cleaned his soul quite a lot. After that, they began a very slow and playful romance.

He was not ready to make love however, he was afraid of the intimacy. He was slowly coming out of his shell at the time. It's not like he had experience with that sort of thing. Not the human way at least. And it was a long time since his Time Lord experience that if he was honest with himself. He already forgot what it was like. He was in the end just a thousand years old virgin. He often wondered what would have happened if they had been together for a longer time.

Still, after he lost her. He regretted being a coward in the sexual department for a long, long time.

Maybe it really was this body making quite the ruckus with his brain. So young and so full of this _need_, he was practically trembling with it. Or maybe he waited long enough and was ready. So, so very ready.

Rose was not making this any easier. She was an adolescent herself. He understood that hormones had awoken in her as any other teen her age; she was probably drowning in them. For her, boys suddenly looked handsome and attractive, and she was gaining confidence with her beauty and her new fondness for fashion and looking gorgeous to be looked at by boys.

Maybe she was not quite there yet, to be intimate with a boy, she said so herself. But she was waiting for the right boy. And he was.

He was the right boy.

Not any stupid boy. ¡Him!.

The Doctor, the lonely man that waited a long time to be with her. This was so special he couldn't even processes it.

He waited to give himself to her, and apparently she did too. Not in the right order, but in the end, they were giving each other's first times.

It wasn't to be taken lightly. This needed to be perfect, special, because it was a precious opportunity to be together. No other story in the universe was as perfect as this one. No other couple in all time and space had something as exceptional as this.

Rose Tyler and the Doctor, forever in an endless love story. If only she knew, but even if she doesn't, he was going to make it flawless for her too.

"Its not really Jimmy, you know?" he said casually while licking his ice cream.

"Yeah?, what's yer name then?" she smiles.

"The most common name ever, if you can believe it. Name's John Smith, but the lads call me Jimmy Stone. I reckon its more cooler for a rock star."

"Yeah" she giggles. "My mum thought it would be pretty to be named like a flower"

"It is pretty, I never meet a Rose in my life" he assures her. "Tyler on the other hand. I meet a Tyler before"

"Yeah?, was she pretty?"

"Wut?, you think I only know cute girls?" He denies it with his head. "His name was Steven actually. Great fellow, he knew a lot, I do mean a lot, about mechanics. He was in the army or something before I meet him. I don't know why the Tyler's are always great, stuff to remember; Meet a Tyler and prepare to be amazed by their genius"

She laughs. "How can you say that if you have only meet two?"

"Well, two is enough!"

Besides, he wants to add, but doesn't. – He did meet Jacky Tyler and Peter Tyler. The last one twice.

"You know, I'm going to write a song about it. 'The Tylers, awesome stuff', I'm going to say everything I have to say about it"

She rolls her eyes. "Calm down Forest Gump"

"Oi, and what does that make you?, Jenny?"

"I hope not, she was a bitch"

He laugh's. "Yes she was"

"I like that movie, I mean, can you imagine someone living all that in one life?. Meeting the president twice, going to war, being right there on big historical events just by coincidence."

"So, you like history?"

"Well, a bit, I mean, I'm not really an expert, but I do enjoy it more than any other class" She smiles and then adds "But if someone actually lived that, I bet he would be mad, it's too much for one life don't you think?".

Fucking hell. He was the real Forest Gump.

"Yeah, definitely, totally and utterly mad."

"So much pain"

"What other movie do you like?" he ask, because its too depressing this topic.

"Titanic obviously" she smiles. "So romantic"

Funny how pain can move from his chest to his arms, to the very tip of his fingertips. "Rose and Jack"

"Yeah, I feel pretty stupid for a while when the movie came out, people keep doing jokes. But I actually love it"

"Yeah, I cried like a baby" he says and she snorts. "I really did" he smiles. "Imagine this big ship, so beautiful and so full of life ending deep into the ocean. The band still playing till the end, as musician I understand them"

It was and awful experience. But he wanted to be there and try to save someone. He ended clinging to a piece of Iceberg.

"Yeah, poor people" she says sympathetic. "I cant imagine losing someone you love so much"

She has no idea now, what it feels to lose a Jack, but one day, he would find her watching the movie in the tv room, crying her eyes out and mumbling about Jack.

How is this going to work when he knows so much about what she is going to suffer because of him?.

"But I think its better to love and lost, than never trying because of fear" she adds.

He smiles softly. "Yeah, you are right. It is better."

"Are you done with that?"

"Why?" he asks confused.

"Let's get going, my mum would be frantic if I don't go home"

"Thank you Rose"

"For what?"

"I don't know, for being you, I guess…" he smiles.

They hold hands, and he feels full of life.

Took me a while to finish this chapter, but it's out now. What do you think?. Too much OOC?.

Write me a line, let me know what da ya think.


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